where does the time go..

i stumbled upon old journal entries and pictures i had forgotten about. and yes that is me as a baby, i was pretty adorable, not gunna lie.
its just so crazy how time flies by.. matt and i have been together for FIVE YEARS. seriously, whoa thats so long, i feel so old!! we were 17 when we met now im going to be 22. its funny, even at 18 years old, i knew that matt was the one. this old entry from May 2005 explains it all...

well i have been going through a lot lately.
and that is an understatement.
so many things have been happening
and all at once.
ive been so overwhelmed by all the negative
that i let it take over me..
and by doing so, i couldnt see the positive..
of course the posi wins,
but unfortunately it took me a little longer to see that.
i am so utterly grateful and blessed to have matthew in my life.
he is so unbelievably caring, that even i get blown away sometimes.
whenever i fall, he is always there no matter what to catch me.
i always have a shoulder to cry on.
i have my own personal cheerleader, that supports me in everything i do.

even though my faith has been the weakest in a very long time, i know that god has put matthew in my life for a reason. i know that he is my guardian angel that watches over me and protects me. he is like a best friend/boyfriend/protector/everything all rolled into one. this may sound totally cheesy, but i dont care, not in the least bit.

i KNOW in my heart, that i have found the man im going to marry. the one im going to have kids with, grow old and wrinkly with and sit in a rocking chair while i knit and he watches tv. and i cant think of anything better.

this is for you honey. thank you from the bottom of my heart for being there for me during this rough time. you have been so kind and understanding, even when i didnt deserve it. i love you with everything i am and there is never a moment that goes by that i dont thank god for giving me such a blessing, for giving me you.

i hear this song and i cant help but think of you...

Bless your heart, youve made me happy again
Its been so long and Im sick of pretending
Youve enlighted the pain in my heart

Cuz I'm doing everything for you
Cuz I love to be near to you
Something just takes me away to a place where I'm happy
Cuz I'm doing everything for you
Yeah you know that I adore you
and I just can't take it anymore



i love you
always and forever

i feel like im taking a trip down memory lane...
i remember the brand new song, Soco Amaretto Lime used to be my anthem! and i was even too young for it, since i wasnt 18.. now im old! ah!

in lieu of memory lane.. im going to post some old pictures that take me back!

i remember i was SOO happy to see them. it was august '04 and we saw rilo kiley in a tiny little record shop and they performed acoustic not more than a foot in front of us..

and this was my last prom. i had just gotten my promise ring from matthew a few months prior. and matt picked out the corsage, and i was SO impressed!
this was one of my best friends in high school. she lives in another state and is now married.
and here is one of my best friends casey and out of all my friends from high school, hes one of the only few i still talk to. this was one of the last few days of high school, we were in english class.

now im an adult. almost 22. i work full time. i live with my fiancee and am planning to get married.
as much as i hated high school, and even though i still have dreams of failing tests, ditching school and not graduating, i wish i could go back. just temporarily. and do everything right. that time in my life was so crazy, so much family drama, drama with friends, i wish it was as fun and carefree as most people have it.
but when its all said and done, all of my decisions have lead me here, to where i am today.
i love my husband to be, and even though sometimes he doesnt listen, like how he didnt take the trash out today.. he was made for me, and im as happy as a clam:]

oh how i wish money grew on trees.

i think i seriously underestimated how expensive wedding photographers are. if you are in the wedding business you must make SOO much money. its just ridiculous!!

well, officially today since its after midnight, we are meeting with our first photog. we love her work! her website is http://www.heatherjaggerphotography.com/

for the package that we want, it is going to be $2750!! holy cow! i mean, seriously!? its just insane!! but thats a GOOD price. we do get a lot with that package.. which includes:
6 hours of coverage and a 2nd photographer
online proofing for easy access by family and friends
all chosen photos beautifully edited on DVD
1-11x14 and 3-8x10 print 10-5x7 professional prints
a hand designed flush mounted album

and that includes the engagement session:
1-2 hours of shooting
online proofing
1-11x14 3-8x10 professional print

i thought that was terribly expensive, until i started looking at more photographers. this one guy that we really like is like $500 more, and his work isnt as good.
i REALLY like http://www.tworingsandadress.com/ i am still waiting to hear from them in regards to pricing and packages. this one couple took their engagement pictures at the irvine spectrum, and they look SO wonderful. another took pictures at a mission, which my mom recommending a few weeks ago. i love that missions have an old, rustic feel, so that locations is a definite possibility.

i found the cutest invitations and hope that we can get these:

i have always loved birds, ever since i was little. every part of our apartment has birds in it.

there are so many details of a wedding its ridiculous: wedding favors, invites, flowers, booking the photographer, the dj, your wedding cake, honeymoon, and the list goes on and on.

but.. in the midst of all the immense amount of planning.. i LOVE it. i am having so much fun looking through all my different options. but our wedding is one year away, lets see how i feel in about 9 months.. i may be freaking out by then, hopefully not.


well i am going to bed, we have an eventful day: meeting with the photographer and meeting RILEY for the first time.. we cant wait!!!!

so i havent updated in a while..

so much has happened since i last posted! just so that everything is on one blog, after this post i will put the blogs that are on myspace on here. they will be nothing new.. just for organization sake.

we are officially moved into our new place. it is currently adorned with tons of christmas decorations. including a fabulous christmas tree, which matt picked out the black, turquoise and silver bulbs. but i have to admit they are pretty freaking sweet. our couch is amazing and my sister gave us a kitchen table, that is temporarily being used as a computer desk. as soon as christmas is over we are buying a desk and putting it where our tree is. i absolutely love our place and could not be any happier :]

words cant describe how much i missed living with matt. it just seems so natural, so right, and i cant imagine not living without him. i love knowing that i never have to go to bed alone, feeling incomplete, that he is always there, waiting to cuddle me. that is a priceless feeling.

**in wedding news**
i am very proud of the fact that i am organized and getting things done early and not procrastinating. i am a HUGE HUGE HUGE procrastinator with almost everything. but i have realized that when it comes to our wedding, that is something that i can not be. i need to be the complete opposite. with that said, our venue is booked and half paid for. my dress, veil, hair pin is already bought. i have picked out the bridesmaid dresses and the color of the wedding is teal and black, with a hint of white. we are currently interviewing photographers. we have found great potentials so far. there are sooo many to look through though so this aspect is definately daunting:/ but were taking it one photog at a time. our first interview is this wednesday. i also have been actively looking for invitations. i am just having FUN with all of this planning. giving us a year allows us a lot of room to play around with different ideas, and not be stressed by deadlines just yet.

but so far i am loving my life being engaged and being a house wife(to be) i also love having people over. i love entertaining and cooking food and treats for my guests, its the best!!

i am looking forward to spending christmas with my fiancee and my family, and i am anxious with anticipation of what the new year will bring me:]


___________________________________________________________

September 15 - 7:04 AM
so this is how he proposed, since everyone is dying to know :]

he arranged to have my best friends kelsea and alicia take me out for a "girls day" in san diego. we went and got ice cream and walked around. then we decided to go to dinner, and they knew of this really good place on the beach. we got to the beach and walked along the shore and then we pass this group of rocks and then i see matt standing there, all dressed up. i look over and i see john and charlie standing aways with cameras ready to go. and then he goes on to tell me how much he loves me, and that he has loved me since the first moment he saw me.. and then he got down on one knee and asked me to marry him. and i of course said yes! i never thought i would be one the girls that starts crying, but of course i did. i couldnt stop, and i was laughing at the same time. of course that day i put on eyeliner and mascara and eye shadow, i was a mess!!
all of them were in on the scheme and i realized that i must be incredibly dense to not realize what was going on right under my nose.
right after we went to in n out and headed to SOMA to watch the rocket summer. we also got to watch from back stage which was awesome.

i was on cloud nine and i couldnt have been more happy then i was at that moment. matt could finally breathe and relax. he said his legs were shaking so bad, right before he proposed, that he almost fell down the stairs leading to the beach. he was so nervous, which i told him you knew i was going to say yes!

on sunday my family came over to see our new place and celebrate our engagement. they are so cute, they brought food, drinks, cake, presents, i was so overwhelmed by their love and support.

and now we have two years to save and plan for our wedding. my sister who is already married, has offered her services with helping to plan, since we dont know what we are doing.



i am so happy right now that i feel like i may explode with happiness. i have found my prince charming and my dreams are coming true. life is beautiful.




"...it felt just like falling in love again..."

October 16 - 4:34 AM

so we set a date, january 16th, 2010! in a little more than a year we will be husband and wife, that is so crazy! i still have not gotten to used to call him my fiancee, i always catch myself saying boyfriend, and then i correct it. we are pretty sure we found the location for the reception.. we really love this place off of beach and whittier called the garden room.. its beautiful and definitely in our price range. we have a few more places to look at, but chances are we are going with that location. also a plus is that it is only down the street from wacc, which hopefully we will be getting married there. if not, we can have the ceremony at the garden room. im also pretty sure i found my dress, my mom cried when she saw me in that one, so im pretty sure its a winner! my mom, sisters and i are going on saturday to go look so that they can see the dress since they are my matred and maid of honor. the color of the wedding is midnight blue and black, its gorgeous. well im off to do WORK! im at work right now, still dont have my computer at our new place.. so my updates are going to be random. until next time! OH, and here are some pictures of the reception venue, enjoy :]

October 30 - 5:07 AM

So i am pretty sure this is the dress. its beautiful, and exactly what i want. the only difference between my dress and the one in the picture is the brotch would be in the middle, as opposed to the right side. the picture (starting from the right) is my mom, the junior bridesmaid kailey, and my two sister, who are the maid and matred of honor, then of course matt and i, then his best man john, and groomsmen charlie, then ethan the ring bearer, and then its matts mom. this is the colors, and the dresses for my wedding. also, we decided to get married at the garden room. its just way too convenient and will be cheaper. so i posted some pictures of the ceremony area, its just perfect. this is the cute little room that is only for the brides and bridesmaids. we can do last minute touches on make up, etc. this is what the party will look like, including dance floor, because you KNOW we gots to get our dance on shoot!!' and here is the gazebo that i love oh so much! honestly, it is all so surreal. i cant believe i am planning my wedding. it feels like yesterday that matt gave me my promise ring on our 1 year anniversary. i was only 17 when we met and he was 18... now im 21, almost 22 and he is 23 and were planning to marry each other is just a little more than a year.... i am not sure what i did, but i must have done something right to have my life be just, so..... perfect.

every weekend we could my mom and sisters would
go looking at wedding dresses.
so far i think i have been to 5 different places and tried
on at minimum of 30 dresses.
and mind you every time i go i proclaim i have found "the one"
only to find something completely and utterly different
the next place i go and that takes reign.
there are so many different styles: lace, no lace, princess,
or mermaid or completely fitted?
well yesterday i thought i found my dress.
it was a fitted bodice with lots of beautiful details everywhere.
the dress was the "princess for the day" look.
but my mom and sister insisted i look somewhere else.
at this point i didnt even want to look anywhere else.

sooo the next place we went to seemed wayyy out of budget.
plus i was just exhausted and didnt want to try anything else on.
we were about to leave when the super nice sales person was
trying to show us more dresses and i said ok ok ill try some more on.
the first one i tried on, that was it. my sister was crying, so i knew.
the people there even got bobby pins, put my hair up and put a
gorgeous swarovski crystal clip in my hair.
the veil has beautiful beading and sewing.
the dress has a very vintage kind of feel, and is simple.
one of the people there with her family came over just to tell
me that i looked beautiful.
my mom and sister both agree that my dress is perfect and that
it is a very "tahnee" dress.

it was in this dress, i visioned walking down the aisle to matt,
with butterflies in my stomach the whole way.
this dress i envisioned wearing on the happiest day of our life.


also, for the fourth or fifth time, i changed the colors of
the wedding... its now going to be dark teal.
and the bridesmaid dresses match the cut and style of mine.


so i found my wedding dress and i could not be any happier.


andd i never want to look at a wedding dress ever again :)