where does the time go..

i stumbled upon old journal entries and pictures i had forgotten about. and yes that is me as a baby, i was pretty adorable, not gunna lie.
its just so crazy how time flies by.. matt and i have been together for FIVE YEARS. seriously, whoa thats so long, i feel so old!! we were 17 when we met now im going to be 22. its funny, even at 18 years old, i knew that matt was the one. this old entry from May 2005 explains it all...

well i have been going through a lot lately.
and that is an understatement.
so many things have been happening
and all at once.
ive been so overwhelmed by all the negative
that i let it take over me..
and by doing so, i couldnt see the positive..
of course the posi wins,
but unfortunately it took me a little longer to see that.
i am so utterly grateful and blessed to have matthew in my life.
he is so unbelievably caring, that even i get blown away sometimes.
whenever i fall, he is always there no matter what to catch me.
i always have a shoulder to cry on.
i have my own personal cheerleader, that supports me in everything i do.

even though my faith has been the weakest in a very long time, i know that god has put matthew in my life for a reason. i know that he is my guardian angel that watches over me and protects me. he is like a best friend/boyfriend/protector/everything all rolled into one. this may sound totally cheesy, but i dont care, not in the least bit.

i KNOW in my heart, that i have found the man im going to marry. the one im going to have kids with, grow old and wrinkly with and sit in a rocking chair while i knit and he watches tv. and i cant think of anything better.

this is for you honey. thank you from the bottom of my heart for being there for me during this rough time. you have been so kind and understanding, even when i didnt deserve it. i love you with everything i am and there is never a moment that goes by that i dont thank god for giving me such a blessing, for giving me you.

i hear this song and i cant help but think of you...

Bless your heart, youve made me happy again
Its been so long and Im sick of pretending
Youve enlighted the pain in my heart

Cuz I'm doing everything for you
Cuz I love to be near to you
Something just takes me away to a place where I'm happy
Cuz I'm doing everything for you
Yeah you know that I adore you
and I just can't take it anymore



i love you
always and forever

i feel like im taking a trip down memory lane...
i remember the brand new song, Soco Amaretto Lime used to be my anthem! and i was even too young for it, since i wasnt 18.. now im old! ah!

in lieu of memory lane.. im going to post some old pictures that take me back!

i remember i was SOO happy to see them. it was august '04 and we saw rilo kiley in a tiny little record shop and they performed acoustic not more than a foot in front of us..

and this was my last prom. i had just gotten my promise ring from matthew a few months prior. and matt picked out the corsage, and i was SO impressed!
this was one of my best friends in high school. she lives in another state and is now married.
and here is one of my best friends casey and out of all my friends from high school, hes one of the only few i still talk to. this was one of the last few days of high school, we were in english class.

now im an adult. almost 22. i work full time. i live with my fiancee and am planning to get married.
as much as i hated high school, and even though i still have dreams of failing tests, ditching school and not graduating, i wish i could go back. just temporarily. and do everything right. that time in my life was so crazy, so much family drama, drama with friends, i wish it was as fun and carefree as most people have it.
but when its all said and done, all of my decisions have lead me here, to where i am today.
i love my husband to be, and even though sometimes he doesnt listen, like how he didnt take the trash out today.. he was made for me, and im as happy as a clam:]

oh how i wish money grew on trees.

i think i seriously underestimated how expensive wedding photographers are. if you are in the wedding business you must make SOO much money. its just ridiculous!!

well, officially today since its after midnight, we are meeting with our first photog. we love her work! her website is http://www.heatherjaggerphotography.com/

for the package that we want, it is going to be $2750!! holy cow! i mean, seriously!? its just insane!! but thats a GOOD price. we do get a lot with that package.. which includes:
6 hours of coverage and a 2nd photographer
online proofing for easy access by family and friends
all chosen photos beautifully edited on DVD
1-11x14 and 3-8x10 print 10-5x7 professional prints
a hand designed flush mounted album

and that includes the engagement session:
1-2 hours of shooting
online proofing
1-11x14 3-8x10 professional print

i thought that was terribly expensive, until i started looking at more photographers. this one guy that we really like is like $500 more, and his work isnt as good.
i REALLY like http://www.tworingsandadress.com/ i am still waiting to hear from them in regards to pricing and packages. this one couple took their engagement pictures at the irvine spectrum, and they look SO wonderful. another took pictures at a mission, which my mom recommending a few weeks ago. i love that missions have an old, rustic feel, so that locations is a definite possibility.

i found the cutest invitations and hope that we can get these:

i have always loved birds, ever since i was little. every part of our apartment has birds in it.

there are so many details of a wedding its ridiculous: wedding favors, invites, flowers, booking the photographer, the dj, your wedding cake, honeymoon, and the list goes on and on.

but.. in the midst of all the immense amount of planning.. i LOVE it. i am having so much fun looking through all my different options. but our wedding is one year away, lets see how i feel in about 9 months.. i may be freaking out by then, hopefully not.


well i am going to bed, we have an eventful day: meeting with the photographer and meeting RILEY for the first time.. we cant wait!!!!

so i havent updated in a while..

so much has happened since i last posted! just so that everything is on one blog, after this post i will put the blogs that are on myspace on here. they will be nothing new.. just for organization sake.

we are officially moved into our new place. it is currently adorned with tons of christmas decorations. including a fabulous christmas tree, which matt picked out the black, turquoise and silver bulbs. but i have to admit they are pretty freaking sweet. our couch is amazing and my sister gave us a kitchen table, that is temporarily being used as a computer desk. as soon as christmas is over we are buying a desk and putting it where our tree is. i absolutely love our place and could not be any happier :]

words cant describe how much i missed living with matt. it just seems so natural, so right, and i cant imagine not living without him. i love knowing that i never have to go to bed alone, feeling incomplete, that he is always there, waiting to cuddle me. that is a priceless feeling.

**in wedding news**
i am very proud of the fact that i am organized and getting things done early and not procrastinating. i am a HUGE HUGE HUGE procrastinator with almost everything. but i have realized that when it comes to our wedding, that is something that i can not be. i need to be the complete opposite. with that said, our venue is booked and half paid for. my dress, veil, hair pin is already bought. i have picked out the bridesmaid dresses and the color of the wedding is teal and black, with a hint of white. we are currently interviewing photographers. we have found great potentials so far. there are sooo many to look through though so this aspect is definately daunting:/ but were taking it one photog at a time. our first interview is this wednesday. i also have been actively looking for invitations. i am just having FUN with all of this planning. giving us a year allows us a lot of room to play around with different ideas, and not be stressed by deadlines just yet.

but so far i am loving my life being engaged and being a house wife(to be) i also love having people over. i love entertaining and cooking food and treats for my guests, its the best!!

i am looking forward to spending christmas with my fiancee and my family, and i am anxious with anticipation of what the new year will bring me:]


___________________________________________________________

September 15 - 7:04 AM
so this is how he proposed, since everyone is dying to know :]

he arranged to have my best friends kelsea and alicia take me out for a "girls day" in san diego. we went and got ice cream and walked around. then we decided to go to dinner, and they knew of this really good place on the beach. we got to the beach and walked along the shore and then we pass this group of rocks and then i see matt standing there, all dressed up. i look over and i see john and charlie standing aways with cameras ready to go. and then he goes on to tell me how much he loves me, and that he has loved me since the first moment he saw me.. and then he got down on one knee and asked me to marry him. and i of course said yes! i never thought i would be one the girls that starts crying, but of course i did. i couldnt stop, and i was laughing at the same time. of course that day i put on eyeliner and mascara and eye shadow, i was a mess!!
all of them were in on the scheme and i realized that i must be incredibly dense to not realize what was going on right under my nose.
right after we went to in n out and headed to SOMA to watch the rocket summer. we also got to watch from back stage which was awesome.

i was on cloud nine and i couldnt have been more happy then i was at that moment. matt could finally breathe and relax. he said his legs were shaking so bad, right before he proposed, that he almost fell down the stairs leading to the beach. he was so nervous, which i told him you knew i was going to say yes!

on sunday my family came over to see our new place and celebrate our engagement. they are so cute, they brought food, drinks, cake, presents, i was so overwhelmed by their love and support.

and now we have two years to save and plan for our wedding. my sister who is already married, has offered her services with helping to plan, since we dont know what we are doing.



i am so happy right now that i feel like i may explode with happiness. i have found my prince charming and my dreams are coming true. life is beautiful.




"...it felt just like falling in love again..."

October 16 - 4:34 AM

so we set a date, january 16th, 2010! in a little more than a year we will be husband and wife, that is so crazy! i still have not gotten to used to call him my fiancee, i always catch myself saying boyfriend, and then i correct it. we are pretty sure we found the location for the reception.. we really love this place off of beach and whittier called the garden room.. its beautiful and definitely in our price range. we have a few more places to look at, but chances are we are going with that location. also a plus is that it is only down the street from wacc, which hopefully we will be getting married there. if not, we can have the ceremony at the garden room. im also pretty sure i found my dress, my mom cried when she saw me in that one, so im pretty sure its a winner! my mom, sisters and i are going on saturday to go look so that they can see the dress since they are my matred and maid of honor. the color of the wedding is midnight blue and black, its gorgeous. well im off to do WORK! im at work right now, still dont have my computer at our new place.. so my updates are going to be random. until next time! OH, and here are some pictures of the reception venue, enjoy :]

October 30 - 5:07 AM

So i am pretty sure this is the dress. its beautiful, and exactly what i want. the only difference between my dress and the one in the picture is the brotch would be in the middle, as opposed to the right side. the picture (starting from the right) is my mom, the junior bridesmaid kailey, and my two sister, who are the maid and matred of honor, then of course matt and i, then his best man john, and groomsmen charlie, then ethan the ring bearer, and then its matts mom. this is the colors, and the dresses for my wedding. also, we decided to get married at the garden room. its just way too convenient and will be cheaper. so i posted some pictures of the ceremony area, its just perfect. this is the cute little room that is only for the brides and bridesmaids. we can do last minute touches on make up, etc. this is what the party will look like, including dance floor, because you KNOW we gots to get our dance on shoot!!' and here is the gazebo that i love oh so much! honestly, it is all so surreal. i cant believe i am planning my wedding. it feels like yesterday that matt gave me my promise ring on our 1 year anniversary. i was only 17 when we met and he was 18... now im 21, almost 22 and he is 23 and were planning to marry each other is just a little more than a year.... i am not sure what i did, but i must have done something right to have my life be just, so..... perfect.

every weekend we could my mom and sisters would
go looking at wedding dresses.
so far i think i have been to 5 different places and tried
on at minimum of 30 dresses.
and mind you every time i go i proclaim i have found "the one"
only to find something completely and utterly different
the next place i go and that takes reign.
there are so many different styles: lace, no lace, princess,
or mermaid or completely fitted?
well yesterday i thought i found my dress.
it was a fitted bodice with lots of beautiful details everywhere.
the dress was the "princess for the day" look.
but my mom and sister insisted i look somewhere else.
at this point i didnt even want to look anywhere else.

sooo the next place we went to seemed wayyy out of budget.
plus i was just exhausted and didnt want to try anything else on.
we were about to leave when the super nice sales person was
trying to show us more dresses and i said ok ok ill try some more on.
the first one i tried on, that was it. my sister was crying, so i knew.
the people there even got bobby pins, put my hair up and put a
gorgeous swarovski crystal clip in my hair.
the veil has beautiful beading and sewing.
the dress has a very vintage kind of feel, and is simple.
one of the people there with her family came over just to tell
me that i looked beautiful.
my mom and sister both agree that my dress is perfect and that
it is a very "tahnee" dress.

it was in this dress, i visioned walking down the aisle to matt,
with butterflies in my stomach the whole way.
this dress i envisioned wearing on the happiest day of our life.


also, for the fourth or fifth time, i changed the colors of
the wedding... its now going to be dark teal.
and the bridesmaid dresses match the cut and style of mine.


so i found my wedding dress and i could not be any happier.


andd i never want to look at a wedding dress ever again :)

he asked and i said YES!

so were engaged! he proposed on september 12th. he totally planned it,everyone knew except me. it was the perfect engagement for me. a proposal, in san diego, on the beach,with my best friends, and in n out after, followed by the rocket summer, where we watched from backstage. i honestly could not think of anything more wonderful.

my family came over a few days later for our engagement/housewarming party. they brought cake, and food, and engagement cards, and TONS of alcohol. we still have a 12 pack of coronas and a bottle of really yummy champagne, which we are saving for our 4 1/2 year anniversary which is on september 26th. but my family was so excited for us, the feeling of joy i felt was so immense. they loved our little place, they were expecting to see boxes everywhere since we just moved in. but everything has its place and it definitely feels like a home. so for the date we are planning a two year engagement and sometime in winter, perhaps the middle of january. but who knows, were just enjoying being engaged, all the planning and stress can wait a few months!

my life right now is just... perfect. i dont think its possible for me to be any happier than i am right now :]

too excited to sleep!

so we move in tomorrow, and i SHOULD be sleeping right now, but i am way too excited. we definitely have a long day ahead of us. there is not many heavy things to lift, other than my dresser. our couch is being delivered. our fridge comes with the apartment and my bed comes apart, making a few pieces to carry in. well, im not doing any of the lifting, mostly organizing.

i cant wait to plant in my little garden, and decorate my patio :] my mom got us a SWEET plate set, that is chocolate and turquoise, and matching plastic cups! we got our sectional we ALWAYS wanted, which of course is chocolate. that is kinda the theme color for the place.

and the best part is matt and i didnt have work today, tomorrow or the next day. we go back on saturday, and then we are off until the 16th! his birthday is on the 11th, and on the 26th we will have been together for 4 years and 6 months... where does the time go!?

i am so ecstatic to start my life with matt, he makes me feel like the happiest/luckiest girl in the world. and i still get butterflies just thinking about him:]


and this song explains perfectly how i feel about Matthew Forest Gregory Furgerson Ramsaur.

It's been a year
Filled with problems
But now you're here
Almost as if to solve them
And I can't live
In a world with out you now

All my life
I've been searching for you
How did I survive
In this world before you
Cause I don't want to live
Another day without you now

This is the best thing
The best thing that could be happening
And I think you would agree
The best thing is that its happening to you and me

All I want to have
Is all that you can give me
And I'll give right back
Everything I have in me
Cause nothing ever felt as right
As this does right now

I'll go back
To before we met
Try and erase the past
Try harder to forget
Cause nothing will ever be as good
As here and now

Cause when I looked into your eyes
And you dared to stare right back
You should've said nice to meet you, I'm your other half

This is the best thing
The best thing that could be happening
And I think you would agree
The best thing is that its happening

I always knew I'd find someone
I never dreamt it'd be like this
Cause you've surpassed
All that I'd hoped for and ever wished
And I'm trying so hard
With all my heart and mind
To make your life as good as you've made mine

and the rest of my life starts.....NOW!!

so many questions, thoughts running through my head right now i feel like i might explode!! matt and i are SOOO ready to start the rest of our lives together... and the light at the end of the tunnel seems to be three years away.
one of the BIGGEST questions is how we are going to pay our bills off and save for our wedding. my family says they are going to help out, but they cant pay for the ENTIRE thing. im not wanting a big fancy shindig that costs $30,000. we have a verrrry modest budget in mind, but even that, along with all the planning seems so daunting. i have ALWAYS dreamed of getting married in a church with all my loved ones and having a reception to party down! i am only getting married ONCE in my life.. but it would be so much easier to elope, or have a teeny tiny ceremony with our immediate families and BEST of friends...
Another reason why matt and i are re-thinking having a wedding is to in order to save and have the wedding we want it will be 2-3 years from now! we cant wait that long.. its an indescribable feeling, that you are ready to start your life with the one you love and have to wait years in order to do so. gut wrenching is the best term to be completely honest.. and my mom has been in mexico since last thursday and matt and i have been playing house again. we mesh SO well when we live together, we always have a blast, and that is why we miss living together soooo much.

on a positive note, matt and i are going to go look at apartments in corona on thursday. i showed my mom some of the apts we were looking at and she loved them! she is all for us moving out there, and family support is exactly what we need right now.

as of right now, we are not sure exactly what we are going to do... the only thing i know for certain is that i love him, he loves me and we are spending the rest of our lives together... hopefully MUCH sooner than later.

she works hard for the moneys...

that is how im going to feel after my 6 day straight work week is finished.

well its about that time again...
anniversary sale time, wooop.
i have to be up at 5:15am, leave at 5:45, and get to work by 6:30 for matty, then i start at 7:00.
but it could be worse, way worse. i could be working in the stores, and running around for 12 hours. instead, i am going to be sitting at my cute little cubicle, relaxing my feet, and mostly, taking phone calls from the stores.. can i get a AMENN!
and they feed us too, for the WHOLE weekend!
tomorrow is pizza hut, saturday is chick-fil-a,
and sunday is some mexican food place. also, no 12 hour shift for me. nope. i go in at 7, and i believe i leave at 4 or 430. i absolutely LOVE my job. the best part is the people that work next to me. we just bs between calls and laugh. its pretty frickin awesome. anddd when i look to my right, 20 feet or so, i get to see little mattys head. its cute:]

ive also been having some crazy, vivid dreams, and ive looked them up to see exactly what they mean. and of course, all of my dreams pertain to a part of me growing up and/or moving into a new chapter of my life. its creepy because that is completely true for me. but the dream i had last night was so vivid, so real, i woke up, looked around, and immediately started crying. it was the ugliest feeling i have ever felt. i hope i never have a dream that real and vivid again, it was traumatizing to say the least...

i believe that is it for now, but i still cant WAIT to marry matty. good night.

oh and this picture is just for good measure...

come what may...

so life just keeps getting better and better.
both my sisters are SO excited for matt and i. my mom is also very thrilled, she even offered to buy my wedding dress, among other things. my sisters are throwing me my bridal shower and my bachelorette party. which mine and matts bachelor party will be in VEGAS! were super stoked about that. also narrowing the guest list down to a more intimate number, allows us to spend more money in other areas, such as a really nice venue... which is the most important part of our wedding, in my opinion. right now were thinking a country club.. as long as there is a dance floor im pretty much set!!
matt also picked up my engagement ring today, and no i have not seen it. the day i picked it out is the last time i will see it until he proposes, ugh i want to see it so bad! even just a little peek, but no! hmmph.
i feel so utterly ridiculous, i constantly have butterflies in my stomach, everything i think of turns into something about matt and i, or our wedding. all i want to listen to are romantic songs, especially etta james, at last... and i cant help but smile 24/7.. its so silly! i guess the only way i could describe it is, i am utterly, hopelessly, and madly in love.
words cant describe how ecstatic i am right now. i am about to embark on a new chapter in my life, and i know that matt, my family, and friends are all there for me whenever i need. in less than three years, i will make the biggest commitment of my life, and i could be any happier than i am right now...

and this song right here, has THE most romantic/amazing lyrics.. even though it is avenged sevenfold, the lyrics make me want to cry every friggin time, i know ridiculous..

i'll never feel alone again with you by my side
You're the one and in you I confide

And we have gone through good and bad times
But your unconditional love was always on my mind
You've been there from the start for me
And your love has always been true as can be

I'll give my heart to you, I give my heart
Cause nothing can compare in this world to you

wedding fever...

so we are not "officially engaged" yet but wedding talk is in full force!
poor little unsuspecting matty had no idea what he was getting himself into yesterday.. we went to visit my sister for the day, we were going to go swimming but it was cloudy. so we went to lunch at south coast, then walked around and went to the book store.. and of course i go by the section of dozens of bridal magazines. mind you my sister does not know that matt had bought our rings.. so i just came out with it... and it was amazing to have someone so supportive. and she knows after talking with us that we are ready for it.
for starters:
were going to have a 2-3 year engagement.
in that time we are living apart, and saving, for our wedding and a nest egg for after.
we love one another unconditionally, and are working hard to make our dream a reality.
so as soon as i told her, it snow balled into, overall a 5 hour conversation about getting engaged, the wedding, our life after.. you name it, we covered it. then we went back to her house, i showed her my ring, and then that led to everything a wedding entails. we at least found an AWESOME bridesmaid dress, that on davids bridal, 55 out 55 people recommend it. we also decided that having a very very small wedding would be in the best interest for us. were talking 50 people max.. as much as matt and i want to have everyone there that we love, we just cant afford that.. and then it goes into, we didnt invite so and so, but we invited so and so. we want to avoid as much drama as possible. so were only inviting our immediate families, and our CLOSEST friends. a good solution of still having people we care about included in the wedding process is myself, having a big bridal shower. so all the girls that i would not be able to invite to the wedding would come to the bridal shower.
we also decided that we are moving to denver for about 4 years, and that moving back to cali. the money we will be saving on rent, will go into a savings that we can use when we move back and apply towards a down payment for our home. that will also be around the time we will want to have kids, and our kids have to know their grandparents and family, that is a MUST.

yup, all that figured out yesterday.. my brain is reaching maximum capacity with all this wedding stuff. but just knowing that my family is going to be their to support us through everything, is so reassuring, and makes the wedding planning process seem less stressful.

well im off to go wake up my little sleeping beauty, god i cant wait to marry hiM!!

at last...

so i am not quite sure what i did to deserve matt..
he is everything i could ever want and more..
and now that we are finally planning our future together, it all seems so surreal.
we finally decided what songs were going to play during what: our slideshow, the song the wedding party walks down to, the song i walk down to, the song after were officially married, and the first dance..
and this is just the beginning of all our planning.. it is a little more overwhelming then i thought, but yet so exciting at the same time...
i wont post a picture of my engagement ring/wedding ring yet, even though i have already picked them out, and matt has already purchased them. i wont do that until he officially proposes, but i will assure you, they are GORGEOUS. my dream rings and i could not be any happier. i showed my mom and she absolutely loved it! i know he is planning the proposal right now, and that is all i know... the best part of the whole "ring buying" experience is that we were not even looking for my rings yet. we went to the brea mall to buy matt pants. we passed by kay jewelers and decided to get my promise ring cleaned... and then i browsed and the sales people hooked us, it was ridiculous. next thing we know, matt bought my engagement and wedding ring, and his wedding band! it was honestly like a scene out of a movie, it happened that fast!
and even though i have been dreaming of this moment my whole life, and i have been with matt for over 4 years, i still get butterflies and get really nervous just thinking about it. but its a really good nervous, not a bad one, nonetheless, it is a nervous...
matt and i have been wanting to get married since i was in high school, and now its all coming along, i feel like im in a fairy tale, and that my prince charming is going to marry me and we are going to live happily ever after....

sounds too simple, love is the only answer. everything else is just a mistake

so im ridiculously excited that kurt halsey is coming to town from july 18th-august 8th and gallery 1988. i love his artwork, and honestly most pictures i have seen look like matt and i.

nothing too exciting lately...
my hair is short and takes no time to do in the morning, which is amazing!

lunch and possibly a movie with my dad. which a few years ago i never thought would be possible. but my question is how long it will last. its hard to give time and energy, and put your heart into a relationship, that you know, within any moment, it could all be thrown away. and you have to start from scratch.
with that said, i dont understand how jesus can do the same thing over and over and over again, and still love us with all his heart.... i have a lot to learn from him.


on a happy note...
this little tyke is my shadow when i am home, and he is the most cutest little pup ever. i utterly adore him :]

no one could ever look at me like you do, like im something worth holding on to...

"You look so defeated lying there in your new twin sized bed.
With a single pillow underneath your single head.
I guess you decided that that old queen was more space than you would need.
Now its in an alley behind your apartment, with a sign that says its free"

i don't think any words can sum up how i felt when i first moved back home, better than those words do. i no longer had use for a queen sized bed. and one pillow was all i needed, no longer two. and for a long time i hated that bed, i hated going to sleep. that bed was just a reminder of what i didn't have and that i was alone. for almost a month straight i cried every night, feeling so utterly alone and clutching my wicket that matt had given me.
my mom and i were listening to this song and i told her why i liked it and what the lyrics meant to me, she almost started crying and said that was the saddest thing she had ever heard. up until then, i don't think she realized how much being away from matt affected me, and it was at that moment i think she truly realized that i was incomplete without my other half.
it has been 6 months since i have not lived with matt.. and i am so happy it went as fast as it did. hopefully the next 6 months will fly by again. i will admit it is getting easier living without matt, but i still miss all of the little things that i took for granted when we did live together. my favorite is his tendency to take his clothes off and leave them where they lie. our hour long grocery
trips to buy food for the next two weeks. that was pretty much our favorite, going through every single aisle, getting treats and goodies. and the best part was going to bed, and lying there talking about our day for an hour, and laughing a lot. then rolling over and falling asleep in each others arms.
although living apart has definitely made us appreciate every moment we spend with each other. when my mom goes and spends the night at my grandmas, she always makes sure that matt can stay with me, so that im not alone. and the days cant go by fast enough when i know he is going to spend the night.
with that said, and another reference to the always amazing death cab for cutie, i truly feel that "no one could ever look at me like you do, like im something worth holding on to".


hopefully time will go by so fast, that before i know it, it will be time to marry matt, and we can officially start our life together....

and life is like a song...

so matt and i have been discussing where to get married, since most places you have to book 1 year or more in advance.. i decided to do some research.. i have found quite a few places.
im very particular in what i want. i have to be married inside, and the reception must be inside as well. anddd there must be a dance floor, duh. soo i found this beautiful location in anaheim on a golf course. the picture is where its at. beautiful! and the best part is we can definitely afford it!! everything i could want in a location, this meets all the criteria, perfectly!

andd im kind of in LOVE with this wedding dress. not too much, but not TOO modest. i love it.

because matty is OBSESSED with mints, this is a must. he LOVED these for party favors.
and this is going to be the color of the wedding i decided:] plus i want that purse because its effin cute!

this is exactly how i want my cake to look, even the satin bows are the right color!

its all just so exciting. i cant wait!

well im off to bed. im FINALLY getting my hair cut. its been five months since the last time i got my hurr did. back to short, wooop! and i have two dates tomorrow, one with linzy and one with matt. that is just how i roll, shoooooooooot.

Life

so i used to blog all the time. and i love looking back at those entries, and remembering the same emotions or thoughts. so i decided to start blogging, a chronicle of my life so far at 21. i know i will look back at this and trip out, and thats the best part.

the story so far... life is lovely.

i have a great job, and i work for a great company, that i know will always take care of me.

my family for the most part is reconciled. family outings with either my dad or my mom, is something that i definitely look forward to. which is a 100 ton weight lifted off my shoulders.

matt and i have been together for over four years..
crazy since when we first started going out, i was 17 and he was 18, most people didnt think we would last... WELL WHAT NOW BITCHES?! four years later and plans of getting married have been discussed on numerous occasions. and to clear anything up, we arent engaged yet, but we have decided to save up for about a year and a half for our wedding, and a little nest egg. so were definitely serious about getting married in the very near future. if we won the lotto, we would get married tomorrow... so maybe i should go get some lotto tickets, or some scratchers?

my priorities are changing. i no longer want to go out dancing, or go drinking even half as much as i used to. and would rather spend time with my family and close friends. i know whats important in life, and dont plan on wasting my time on things that dont matter. honestly, i would like nothing more than to settle down with matt, get married and start a family. yes, i am young, i am only 21.. but it is my life, not anyone else's, and i intend on living it exactly as i wish.

that is all, until next time...

au revoir