sounds too simple, love is the only answer. everything else is just a mistake

so im ridiculously excited that kurt halsey is coming to town from july 18th-august 8th and gallery 1988. i love his artwork, and honestly most pictures i have seen look like matt and i.

nothing too exciting lately...
my hair is short and takes no time to do in the morning, which is amazing!

lunch and possibly a movie with my dad. which a few years ago i never thought would be possible. but my question is how long it will last. its hard to give time and energy, and put your heart into a relationship, that you know, within any moment, it could all be thrown away. and you have to start from scratch.
with that said, i dont understand how jesus can do the same thing over and over and over again, and still love us with all his heart.... i have a lot to learn from him.


on a happy note...
this little tyke is my shadow when i am home, and he is the most cutest little pup ever. i utterly adore him :]

no one could ever look at me like you do, like im something worth holding on to...

"You look so defeated lying there in your new twin sized bed.
With a single pillow underneath your single head.
I guess you decided that that old queen was more space than you would need.
Now its in an alley behind your apartment, with a sign that says its free"

i don't think any words can sum up how i felt when i first moved back home, better than those words do. i no longer had use for a queen sized bed. and one pillow was all i needed, no longer two. and for a long time i hated that bed, i hated going to sleep. that bed was just a reminder of what i didn't have and that i was alone. for almost a month straight i cried every night, feeling so utterly alone and clutching my wicket that matt had given me.
my mom and i were listening to this song and i told her why i liked it and what the lyrics meant to me, she almost started crying and said that was the saddest thing she had ever heard. up until then, i don't think she realized how much being away from matt affected me, and it was at that moment i think she truly realized that i was incomplete without my other half.
it has been 6 months since i have not lived with matt.. and i am so happy it went as fast as it did. hopefully the next 6 months will fly by again. i will admit it is getting easier living without matt, but i still miss all of the little things that i took for granted when we did live together. my favorite is his tendency to take his clothes off and leave them where they lie. our hour long grocery
trips to buy food for the next two weeks. that was pretty much our favorite, going through every single aisle, getting treats and goodies. and the best part was going to bed, and lying there talking about our day for an hour, and laughing a lot. then rolling over and falling asleep in each others arms.
although living apart has definitely made us appreciate every moment we spend with each other. when my mom goes and spends the night at my grandmas, she always makes sure that matt can stay with me, so that im not alone. and the days cant go by fast enough when i know he is going to spend the night.
with that said, and another reference to the always amazing death cab for cutie, i truly feel that "no one could ever look at me like you do, like im something worth holding on to".


hopefully time will go by so fast, that before i know it, it will be time to marry matt, and we can officially start our life together....

and life is like a song...

so matt and i have been discussing where to get married, since most places you have to book 1 year or more in advance.. i decided to do some research.. i have found quite a few places.
im very particular in what i want. i have to be married inside, and the reception must be inside as well. anddd there must be a dance floor, duh. soo i found this beautiful location in anaheim on a golf course. the picture is where its at. beautiful! and the best part is we can definitely afford it!! everything i could want in a location, this meets all the criteria, perfectly!

andd im kind of in LOVE with this wedding dress. not too much, but not TOO modest. i love it.

because matty is OBSESSED with mints, this is a must. he LOVED these for party favors.
and this is going to be the color of the wedding i decided:] plus i want that purse because its effin cute!

this is exactly how i want my cake to look, even the satin bows are the right color!

its all just so exciting. i cant wait!

well im off to bed. im FINALLY getting my hair cut. its been five months since the last time i got my hurr did. back to short, wooop! and i have two dates tomorrow, one with linzy and one with matt. that is just how i roll, shoooooooooot.

Life

so i used to blog all the time. and i love looking back at those entries, and remembering the same emotions or thoughts. so i decided to start blogging, a chronicle of my life so far at 21. i know i will look back at this and trip out, and thats the best part.

the story so far... life is lovely.

i have a great job, and i work for a great company, that i know will always take care of me.

my family for the most part is reconciled. family outings with either my dad or my mom, is something that i definitely look forward to. which is a 100 ton weight lifted off my shoulders.

matt and i have been together for over four years..
crazy since when we first started going out, i was 17 and he was 18, most people didnt think we would last... WELL WHAT NOW BITCHES?! four years later and plans of getting married have been discussed on numerous occasions. and to clear anything up, we arent engaged yet, but we have decided to save up for about a year and a half for our wedding, and a little nest egg. so were definitely serious about getting married in the very near future. if we won the lotto, we would get married tomorrow... so maybe i should go get some lotto tickets, or some scratchers?

my priorities are changing. i no longer want to go out dancing, or go drinking even half as much as i used to. and would rather spend time with my family and close friends. i know whats important in life, and dont plan on wasting my time on things that dont matter. honestly, i would like nothing more than to settle down with matt, get married and start a family. yes, i am young, i am only 21.. but it is my life, not anyone else's, and i intend on living it exactly as i wish.

that is all, until next time...

au revoir